Read: ‘A Man Without Words’

The Nonotuck community recently endured a heartbreaking loss with the passing of Ron Campbell. Ron shared a home with Shared Living Caregiver Thomas Joyce for more than thirty years, both of them enjoying countless adventures, big and small, throughout New England.

Tom recently shared this poem written by Robin Cabriotti, who has known Ron since she was very young. “She really gets it. Ron was very comfortable with silence. In fact, he lived in silence most of the time, unless he was laughing. He had his own unique ways of communicating what he wanted. He used signs to request cookies, chips, beer, a car ride, or ice cream. Other times, he would take a more direct approach—taking a beer from the fridge or pointing to something specific.

But words were rare for Ron. He spoke only occasionally. Sometimes, if he was particularly interested in someone, like his dad, they might be lucky enough to hear a simple ‘Hi!’—a greeting that came with great effort.

Because Ron spent so much time in silence and laughter, he made a wonderful housemate. His peaceful nature made it easy to meditate in his company. He even enjoyed the meditation music I liked,” says Tom. “Robin, who sees Ron and knows Ron as a friend and mentor, is indeed the wonderful fruit of the vision of not just Shared Living, but also Life Sharing.”

He adds: “Shared Living: the gift that keeps on giving.”

“I’ve known Ron and Tom for all 37 years of my tenure at Nonotuck.  Tom, in the 1990’s was an instrumental part of the development of the unique values of Nonotuck’s model for shared living,” says Nonotuck CEO/President George H. Fleischner.  “His life with Ron was an example of the best ideals found in the sharing of lives: a beautiful relationship based on the mutuality of love, respect, and interdependence.” 

A Man Without Words

A poem by Robin Cabriotti

As I sit here in silence, contemplating .

I’m remembering the lessons of a man without words .

A man with whom  I spent many quiet moments that were not empty, but full.

 it is sometimes in silence where the most is said

 there is no expectation no judgment just space

space to be you , space to honor your own intuition , your own heart

The next lesson was Joy

Not joy in material, but joy in simplicity

 The tapping sounds a balloon makes in your fingers

The taste of french fries

A rock rolling in your hands

Or the silliness of a child

To him getting into a little mischief was just a form of expression

because even without words there was always laughter.  Loud and heartfelt .

I learned that joy in life wasn’t something extra but something necessary

Third lesson is time

there was never an alarm clock or a bedtime

 only the sun.

It rose and it set marking time.

 In a world where we are scheduled

always early or  late

there’s something magical about stopping and aligning with the sun

Not your time , but Time itself.

Fourth lesson Persistence

It was very simple. Yes, I will do that or no I won’t.

There was no convincing or persuading just straight and direct

not overthinking just living in the moment.

Really asking for what he needed

if only we were all able to do that,

 life would be easier

All in all the lessons could go on, but like life there’s a start and there’s an end .

only a once upon a time

It’s with gratitude, I acknowledge a story, examine the past to shape a future.

By carrying with me many of these lessons, that shape the core values of me .

As in life, the greatest lesson is not in living, but what is left behind

Who you inspired

what you did

and in this way, the cycle continues.

 My heart is full of silent gratitude for the lessons of a man without words.