Eulogy for Kitty Kelly-Curtin by George H. Fleischner

By George H. Fleischner, President/ CEO, Nonotuck Resource Associates 

“I do love nothing in the world so well as you”—William Shakespeare.

I cannot claim that I am alone in this sentiment for Kitty.  To know her was to love her and feel loved by her.  To experience her beauty, her empathy, her confidence, and her wisdom was something we may only encounter once in our lifetime.  Kitty didn’t just hear what people had to say, she listened without judgement and comforted without hesitation.  She could find humor in the most stressful of times, and light in the darkest.  The authenticity of Kitty’s heart and depth of her soul was felt by many. And in the face of hypocrisy and hate, she found vulnerability and understanding.  Kitty stood up for and with people with disabilities.  Not because she felt it was her duty, but because it was who she was. For her, love conquered all.

That love shined so brightly in her connection with her sons, and with all those she enveloped into her family. She was a fierce and devoted mother who loved Devin and Dillon unconditionally.

She extended that love to the young children in her life. Her interactions with Blaire, Meadow and Aiden were filled with an unparalleled presence, joy, and playfulness. She would play with them for hours on end and could often be found dressed as a princess at a royal tea party.

There was something about Kitty.  It wasn’t charisma, which overwhelms others, but it was as powerful as charisma.  Maybe more so.  A thousand times I saw her interact with others, draw them in the most subtle of ways, and capture them for life.  It wasn’t overt.  It wasn’t a takeover.  It was a warm and graceful welcome into her life that people gladly entered.

Kitty had the most infectious laugh.  It was spontaneous. A sound free of adult clutter.  Her laugh would ripple through my body and bring me pure happiness. 

Kitty had a joy of life about her.  Here’s an example:  When she was learning to play golf she would hit a shot and run with wonderment and excitement to the next shot.  She did cartwheels in the fairway.  She’d swing and miss and laugh.  Oh my, that laugh.

Her most famous golf shot was on the eighth hole at Greenock.  A difficult, uphill par 4.  She hit a solid drive to the right side of the fairway.  She then crushed a low iron up and onto the green.  From below players can’t see the hole.  We got up to the green and there was no ball to be seen.  Kitty started towards the back of the green thinking he shot had carried over.  I said” Before you look back there look in the hole” I have on video her reaction to her 2 shot eagle as she pick the ball out of the cup in unending glee.  I know I told more people about that shot than she did.  The moment in time was a picture of excitement, zeal and happiness that she had about life.

Kitty started playing golf at age 46 and told me she would win her first tournament by age 50. I didn’t doubt her.

There was much about Kitty’s essence that one saw in her pursuit of the game and that goal.  For months every late evening as the sun was going down and Greenock CC was empty she would play the first two holes hitting 3 or 4 balls.  The second hole is a short par three surrounded by woods.  She would empty her bag of golf balls hitting 15 to 20 of them into the woods.  Her determination was unequal.  Her belief in herself is unparalleled.  She had a goal and she was going to reach it.   One day after one of these evenings her kids found her scorecard and honest Kitty has put down a 17 on that second hole.  She did try to hide it by writing it as small as possible.  But Devin and Dillon found it and teased Kitty mercilessly.  She told that story dozens of times laughing.  This is who she was.

No eulogy about Kitty is complete until her love of Cape Cod, her legacy at Nonotuck and her spirituality is addressed.  For Kitty, Cape Cod was her peace, her earthly heaven, her place for renewal.  At the ocean she would sit in a beach chair at the edge of the water, her feet soaking, staring out across the sea.  Kitty loved Woods Hole, Falmouth, and Chatham. Kitty took pride in the fact that she played 14 different golf courses on the Cape. She loved to take day long rides with Danny across the Cape visiting consignment shops.  In so many ways the Cape was home for Kitty. Regarding Nonotuck:  26 amazing years living with Dan McDonald.  Oh, what a beautiful relationship.  In Lee, everyone who knew Kitty knew Danny.  Danny spent 50 of his first 53 years of life in the institution at Belchertown State School.  He was finally discharged into a group home in Stockbridge where Kitty worked as a nurse.  After quickly building a relationship, they knew they’d live their days together.  Through a model called shared living, this was made possible for Kit and Danny, and in the mid-90s, the two became lifelong roommates.  It was a relationship built on respect and mutual love.  They exemplified everything that shared living is meant to be.   Through Kitty’s love and support, Danny was able to explore new interests and ambitions. For Kitty she had a companion, a side-kick, a buddy. The two were inseparable.

Meanwhile, Kitty worked 17 years as an employee at Nonotuck.  First as a part-time nurse in 2006 where she started Nonotuck’s Adult Family Care program.  Over the years the scope of her responsibilities grew along with the growth of the organization.  Her final position was as an Executive VP of Operations.  Kitty took the AFC program and expanded it from one person to over 800 people across the state.  Kitty’s impact on Nonotuck is immeasurable.  Not only did she embody everything Nonotuck stands for, in many ways, she helped shape the vision and path the agency is forging.  She’s touched hundreds of people’s lives in amazingly positive ways.  She was an influencer and leader in the true sense of the word.  Nonotuck owes a great debt to Kitty.  But to her she was just doing the job she loved. 

Kitty felt solace in her religion.  Her faith was strong.  She had a deep relationship with God and Jesus.  We often spoke of the hereafter.  About spending eternity together.  How we would love each other without the earthly clutter.  How she would meet my mother and I hers.  And how she would be reunited with her brother Jimmy and of course with Danny.

A life-partner, a daughter, a mother, a grandmother, a sister, a colleague, a caretaker, and a friend – Kitty was so many things to us.  She cared deeply and loved unconditionally.  A love that lives on within each of us.

“So are you to my thoughts as food to life,
Or as sweet-seasoned showers are to the ground.” Shakespeare

As part of the Eulogy, I asked my son Grayson to sing a song today.  He had the song picked out but felt singing it would be too difficult.  He asked if he could read the words.  This is what he read.

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep my faith will stand

And I will call upon Your Name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise

My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now

So I will call upon Your Name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Saviour

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Saviour

I will call upon Your Name
Keep my eyes above the waves

When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine

I am Yours and You are mine